One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

It’s always a dance, but not always as fun. I guess it depends on certain things. Is it the music I like? Do I know the steps? One thing that should be fun, or at least assumed to be fun, can be not so much fun depending on the circumstances.

Autism is like that too.

As I daydreamed what post high school life would be like for Hunter, I continued to think on a straight trajectory, the “typical” way to look at things. That I would just present him with the next thing to do…and arrogantly, I assumed, he would just do it.

But life isn’t like that. He falls into a different routine.

One that looks like a summer break extension…late to bed, late to get up…

Showering at 5???

What?

This seems like it wouldn’t matter, but with autism, it takes a little more prep work. While I want him to work and do something productive for himself, how much work can he do solo without some specific intervention on my end?

What we found out, he needs a lot.

Ask any parent who’s sent a kid out into the world, neurodiverse or neurotypical, they all do.

Like my other kids as they transitioned to adulthood, you start to find the gaps in your parenting really quick.

For them, it was not teaching how to grocery shop for one person versus five, or teaching the length of time leftovers can sit in the fridge.

Weird things that, as a parent, you never really think about having to think about until they are gone.

With autism, it’s a little different.

He just needs more self monitoring about time and having benchmarks to meet throughout the day. That’s where we are at right now. And it is okay.

Like all things autism, sometimes, it just takes more time…his time.

While I teach this every day, how soon I forget that this is the case…but I still get to be a typical parent, annoyed that someone eating lunch at 4 pm, right?